Confidence is a rather contradicting feeling in my life. If in one end of the spectrum I have no fear of ridiculing myself for being unapologetically me - with no issues in appearing in public without make-up and unbrushed hair - on the other end, I’m extremely self-aware and compare myself to everyone, their mum and their dog.
Putting myself here for the world to see triggers the latter and this is the reason why: when trying to built an online presence,
there is a lot of competition in this saturated market, which is still very new with no settled fool-proof formula.
This means that once faced by a plethora of content creators doing outstanding creative work, I feel that my little corner in the World Wide Web can look rather grotty or insignificant. Rash words, I know, but this is just one example of how comparison can easily over rule self-confidence.
It's safe to say that even the most confident and positive person may also have those creeping self-detriment thoughts flashing in their brains from time to time, but the main difference is how these people react to them.
It isn’t possible to erase all the negativity out of your mind, but we can learn how to subside and use them as a fuel for strength instead of despair.
I have a choice - I can either loathe for not being able to be where I want to be (regarding blogging or general life), or I can let go of those thoughts and be content with what I can reach right at this moment in my life.
Confidence comes from the serenity of knowing that you are who you are and instead of trying to change it, embrace it! No one is to say that you are good or not good enough for whatever you aim your goals; others shouldn't have the power to decide this in the grand scheme of things.
A month ago I started a little experiment: I decided to act as I if my self-esteem was extremely positive and whenever I were put in a social situation I would go through this exercise of self-affirmation (basically saying “you are confident so ACT confident”) in my mind and lo and behold, people treated me differently, friends complimented my appearance, but also my presence. Confidence is a funny thing; it definitely shows when you wear it, just like an accessory for you outfit.